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Welcome to my weekly series of fear. Today, I am writing about my fears and how I overcame them.

FEAR.  What is it?  Why does we let this emotion rule our lives? Why do we get numb from it?  Why does our breath get shallow, our heart rate beat faster, our skin gets clammy, our pupils dilate?  It is the “fight or flight response” from our brain. We are thinking about our fears so much, that we get physiologic symptoms.   The “fight or flight response”  is our body’s primitive, automatic and inborn response to a perceived threat, attack or harm to our survival.

According the Webster’s Dictionary, there are multiple  definitions of fear.  Here are the definitions.  Fear is:

(noun) a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger

… a state or condition marked by this feeling   i.e  living in fear

…a feeling of disquiet or apprehension                i.e  a fear of looking foolish

…a reason for dread or apprehension                  i.e  being alone is my greatest fear

(verb) to be afraid or frightened of

…to be uneasy or apprehensive about

Fear is:   F (alse) E (xpectations) A (ppearing) R (eal)

Fear is:   false expectations appearing real.  Fear is  in our mind. Whatever our fear is, we blow it out of proportion.   What is it about fear that runs our lives? Or it ruins our lives.  Ever since I started life coaching, I hear more and more people talking about their fears.  And about how they want to do this or they want to do that.  But cannot because they are paralyzed by fear.

I heard about fear in life coaching school, people I coached, blogs I read. I see it everywhere.  I remember when I was young, I was willing to try anything. I learned how to roller skate, ride a bike, ski, ice skate., and many more.  I wasn’t afraid of breaking my bones or falling. Fast forward to the present moment. Now, forget it. I still know how to ride a book but riding my bike with traffic, scares the hell out of me!

Why was I so fearless as a kid, not not so much anymore?  Because I am thinking about all of the horrible stuff that can happen to me:  broken bones, ruptured body organ, big gash on my skin with blood spurting everywhere that I need stitches. I do not think I am afraid of  the act of riding my bike than I am afraid I will end up in the emergency room.

When I was younger, I enjoyed the moment.  I didn’t care about falling. Oh, and I fell. Lots of times. I still have the scabs to prove it.

We all have some kind of a fear. I used to think I was the only one, not until people started talking openly about their fears.  I used to have a fear of public speaking, but not anymore. How did I overcome my fear of public speaking? By doing it. I became a nursing instructor and lectured. I became a medical software trainer where I trained doctors, nurses, and ancillary staff about the electronic medical record. I was nervous but at least I got over my fear.

I used to have a fear of being in small spaces, but not anymore. I moved to New York City where everyone is on top of you.

I used to have the fear of elevators. Now, I cannot imagine not enjoying this convenience.  I learned breathing techniques to help me with my anxiety with closed spaces. And it works.

I used to have a fear of tunnels and driving inside one. I remember I used to get so anxious that my palms were sweaty every time I drove through one.  I quickly got over this fear during graduate school. In order for me to get to class, I needed to drive through the tunnel.  I visualized that I was driving in open space, instead of an enclosed tunnel and I drove very fast!

I took my fears and overcame them. Because I knew the more I kept running away from my fears, it would still be there every time.   I still have fears. It seemed like I got over one fear, a new one came.

What are your fears?  What is one small step you can do today to help you overcome your fear?

Tags: Fearless Fridays